Questionable time wastage

Blog check one two one two what is this?

Dunn and stuff

Well I'm up late. Just got through watching Jackass 3-D for the 3rd time since Dunn died 3 weeks ago. I wish I felt better about our Random Hero, but this is too raw to set aside. As Knoxville said, "Everyone is trying to replace the hurt with the memories and laughter." Memories, make me want to go back there..

Last Friday there was a over  abundance of straight fellas at the gay club. They wanna dance all up on ya and chat. Those are the reasons I go to the gay clubs is to escape that mess. Now I'm a pussy because I didn't take him home or grab his dick or whatever the kids are doing these days.

Ma'ams and sirs, I'm no dick grabber.

So what?

Having some fucking loser read his laundry list of personality flaws that he's secretly been despising in you is funny when you already knew how men felt about you. Thank you for being the messenger of very fucking obvious news. I know that men don't like me...DUH. What else ya got because stating the obvious is not a topic I'm willing to argue over.

End of a bad era

JC is gone ladies and gentleladies. Because i wont just sit and speak when spoken to I got called all kinds of fat, ugly, talked about my stretch marks, my house, my car...except that he has no job, no money, no car...so I'm confused as to what he is speaking of. I played with the idea of him moving back here for about a week then I was through and I guess he could sense that and he started not answering texts and calls, then when I called him on it, he blew up.hahahahahhaaaa. For one drunk ass moment I thought it could be a good idea, then I realized that I dont want him all around all the time. So I got mad shit talked to me but coming from someone with nothing it doesnt mean much...also calling me fat when he has the worst botched lipo scars on his body (and a straight man??) is like the funniest shit ever. Yeah I'm fat and your stomach looks like silly putty. I told him he needed a lawyer to sue whoever butchered him cos it does not take a year for the scarring to go away...thats why lipo is what it is, fast and leaves no scars. but whatever. and he's always talking about he's "gonna do". but never does nothing!! So of course when he's on his little tirade he starts talking material possessions " I got a trust and stocks and blah blah blah. What you got ? A rented townhouse and a malibu?" yeah JC, thats what Ive got, wheres yo house? Oh yeah, u live with yo mama. Wheres your car? Oh yeah, you dont have one. Wheres your degree? Oh, yeah, YOU DONT HAVE ONE and you have no job! But somehow in his head i want to be with him and Im mad that im fat and he "has more successes than I do on his ass." yeah JC.  And always trying to degrade me because I'm a liberal independent woman...like thats a bad thing. I'm not worried about having a man you dumb fuck, if I wanted one, Id get me one. In case you havent noticed, I'm a little busy these days. You are a winner. You have so many things going on for you. I am jealous of you not having a pot to piss in nor a window to throw it out of. I am, have been, and always will be, too good for Christopher J. Cosper and he has always known that thats why he has to treat me like shit, cos its all he has to make himself feel better. He can only get with stupid bitches because independent intelligent women are out of his league and we remind of all his short comings. And short comings it was. 5 minutes oh half limp doggystyle is nothing to get sprung on JC. You and your awful sex is wack. Have a nice life talking about what you "gonna do." I'm gonna have a great life actually doing what I say I'm going to do. And one day I find a man and he will put yo ass to shame and if I never have another man at least I didnt settle for someone who never shuts the fuck up and has HORRIBLE TASTE IN MUSIC, and who isnt very smart. Keep on drinking Keystone and lying to yourself. You dont do shit you say you're gonna do but forever talking about it. All you do is drink, fuck stupid bitches, roll weed, and run yo fuckin' mouth.

meh.

I will never play the victim. but every once in awhile I get a glimpse of what it could be like if I ever did. FUCK THAT.

summertime...and the livings easy...

So this summer pretty much blew the big one. It's going by in a over 100 degree school and work filled daze. A lot of money worries and a lot of boredom. The biggest thing to happen this solstice is the death of my beloved Michael Jackson. I am still shocked and so saddened by the tragic ending to my childhood idol. A little over a month later I can only barely grasp what this means.

Living in a world without Michael is like living in a world without magic. Like living in a world without color. He was ingrained into popular cultures fabric. He shaped an entire generation. He wrote fucking 'Thriller'. When I was a kid I don't remember really listening to much besides Michael. I will not address the accusations that lead to his extreme sadness. I don't believe he could hurt a fly, let alone a child. All I know is that MJ is gone and that is soooo very wrong. he never got a second chance to be the performer he should be remembered for.

In a couple of months I will be rounding out 2 years without sex. I wish I could say that I really missed it and wanted it...but...nope. Men have taken such a sideline that they are basically unneeded at this juncture. I just be bothered trying to care about you. I have to much going on right now.

some Leo for your day.